M.A. Counselling Psychology
Registered Clinical Counsellor (R.C.C.) #1955 (BC Association of Clinical Counsellors)
Certified Relationship Specialist (American Psychotherapy Association)
Trevor Warren is a sex-positive male relationship therapist with a Master’s of Arts Degree (M.A.) in Counselling Psychology. He is a Registered Clinical Counsellor (R.C.C.) and a Certified Relationship Specialist (C.R.S.) with the American Psychotherapy Association. As a seasoned marriage counsellor, sex therapist, relationship therapist and workshop facilitator with over 25 years of direct counselling experience working with over a 1,000 couples, Trevor has earned the reputation of "Relationship Expert" in the field of couples counselling and sex therapy in Vancouver’s lower mainland. Trevor supports couples to deal more effectively with issues ranging from communication difficulties, to conflict, to feeling a lack of intimacy and connection, to recovering from affairs. He also supports partners who are exploring alternative relationship structures including open-sexuality, non-monogamy, swinging, polyamory, and kink lifestyles.
Trevor is also the founder and Clinical Director of CoreQuest Counselling Group (est. 1996), a sought-after public speaker, and has had several media interviews on Global, City TV, The Globe & Mail and Z95.3 on topics related to relationships and sexual intimacy.
Trevor has received specialized training in Bowen Family Systems, Gestalt, Group, Relationship, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Conflict Resolution, Brief Solution Focus, Critical Incident Stress Management, and EMDR therapy. He has had the incredible opportunity to train with masters in the field of counselling psychology and sexuality including Tony Robbins, Bill O'Hanlon, David Deida, John Gottman, Harville Hendrix, Bianca Rucker, Michaela Boehm, Duane O'Kane and Satyen Raja. I highly encourage you to have a look at some of Trevor's media interviews to get a sense of his approach and personality. Trevor founded CoreQuest Counselling Group in North Vancouver in 1996 and lead a team of registered counsellors for over 10 years all of whom specialized in marriage and couples counselling. He is one of few male counselors on the north shore who have been working specifically with couples for over 20 years.
Originally from Toronto, Ontario, Trevor moved to North Vancouver in 1995 and has worked for a number of social service agencies over the years including Cameray Counselling Centre, Family Services of Greater Vancouver, North Shore Family Services, Richmond Youth Service Agency, & W. J. Stemaschuk. His work In these positions involved supporting children, youth, parents, families, individuals, and couples. Trevor has also been very active with Clearmind International Institute which is a personal development organization that offers experiential workshops combining the principles of 'A Course in Miracles'® with psychology and spirituality. He is a teacher, lecturer and workshop facilitator there.
Trevor believes you can take someone only as far as you have been yourself, and so has taken seriously his own personal work. He has a strong interest in music and enjoys playing acoustic guitar, bass guitar and percussion. Trevor was also a member of LOVEDRUNK, a gypsy/reggae/rock band that played local venues around Vancouver. Also, a strong outdoor enthusiast, Trevor hikes, snowboards and has run his own company called SpiritQuest Journeys that offered 3 and 7 days backpacking trips that combined spirituality and nature in an experiential journey.
Trevor also heads up the HugSquad. HugSquad is an ever-expanding group of people in Vancouver's lower mainland (eventually the planet Earth) who are dedicated to extending love through the simple yet heartfelt act of offering free hugs to anyone who passes by at any one of our events.
I can't help but get excited when somebody walks in my door looking for help because I can see the incredible possibilities for expansion and healing that lie ahead for anyone in any given situation. It is this excitement that makes the process of counselling so energizing, effective, and hopeful for the people I work with and for myself.
My framework for understanding the root of most (if not all) psychological and emotional problems people face has to do with an idea that has been around for a very, very long time. In the first line of the Dhammapada , the best known of the Buddhist scriptures, Buddha says: "Mind precedes its objects. They are mind-governed and mind-made."
Many other great spirits have embraced this notion as well:
"Men are disturbed not by things, but by the view which they take of them."
- Epictetus, 55?-135?: Greek Stoic philosopher
"There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so."
- William Shakespeare, Hamlet, II:2
"Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms...to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances."
- Victor E. Frankl, 1905-1997: Austrian psychiatrist, in Man's Search for Meaning
"The real act of discovery consists not in finding new lands, but in seeing with new eyes."
- Marcel Proust
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
- Eleanor Roosevelt
All of these great thinkers from different places around the globe and from across the ages have recognized the profound power of the mind and its ability to create our reality. I figure they can't all be wrong.
So "Change your mind...Change your life" really does sum up the approach I take with the people that I work with.
Simply put, I support my clients to identify their current perceptions of themselves, others, and the world; explore the origins of these beliefs, and support them in remembering and reclaiming the fundamental truth of who they really are, their authentic self. In doing so, they heal the roots of pain, anxiety, upset and can go on to live more vibrant and peaceful lives.
Although I have been trained in a number of different approaches in counselling, I primarily utilize a combination of three modalities. These include Cognitive/Behavioural, Bowen Family Systems, and Transpersonal psychology primarily from A Course In Miracles ACIM perspective.
Rational-emotive behavior therapy (REBT) is a popular variation of cognitive-behavioral therapy developed in 1955 by psychologist Albert Ellis. REBT is based on the belief that a person's past experiences shape their belief system and thinking patterns. People form illogical, irrational thinking patterns that become the cause of both their negative emotions and of further irrational ideas. REBT focuses on helping patients discover these irrational beliefs that guide their behavior and replace them with rational beliefs and thoughts in order to relieve their emotional distress. The theory, which now has much practical research to back it up, is that a "thought" always precedes an emotional response, so it is possible to learn how to reprogram our reactions.
Recent research has established that reorganization of thought patterns on the cognitive level can actually cause associated changes in brain physiology.
A person's past experiences are largely determined by their upbringing in their family of origin. The life you experienced in your family of origin (the family you grew up in) is an enormously powerful experience for everyone in it. The impact of those experiences travel with you throughout your life. The way that we see ourselves, others and the world are shaped in the setting of our family of origin.
Although we generally leave our families at some point physically (move out, get married) we rarely leave them emotionally. Even if you are a transplant from back east now living on the west coast and you never return home, you will continue to re-enact the dynamics of your original family system in any new family you create. The content may very well be different but the underlying dynamics will likely be the same.
Sending a client back into his/her environment is usually not helpful unless that client has tools in which to avoid repeating the same behavioural patterns. A systems perspective does just this. By helping that person change the dynamic of the patterns and systems at work in their relationships they are empowered to make lasting changes for themselves.
Sex is a hard thing to talk about for most people. Some couples have never talked about there sexually histories or preferences with their partners. The historical shaming around sex, the lack of quality sex education we've received, and the sexual traumas that many of us have experienced make talking about sex difficult. Yet it is a primary conduit for connection in our partnerships.
I work actively with my client's to normalize and celebrate sexuality as a healthy and integral part of being human, and being in relationships. Removing the shame, ignorance, and trauma that surrounds our sex helps us to become more "sexually-integrated" beings and connects us to our essential life force and vitality.
Whether your straight or gay, sexually monogamous or open, conservative or kinky....whatever turns you on, it's all worth celebrating in healthy ways. Sexuality is a huge palette of possibility and I am here to help you explore it more safely, more courageously, more honestly, and more expressively,
The transpersonal perspective on healing turns many of our more traditional ideas of how people move toward peace and happiness on their heads.
I believe that there is a larger story going on underneath each person’s current dilemma. There is a much deeper goal that we collectively share on this planet that underlies all things. So the process of healing from a transpersonal perspective seeks to understand struggles from this higher perspective.
Our instinctive first response, when we are in pain, is to try to get away from it, by getting busy, turning to our addictions, or medicating it…anything but feel it. This attitude and approach is fully supported and reinforced in our Western world. However, this can actually undermine the whole healing process that is available in each moment of distress. For it is these upsets that can actually be used for healing. They are the very pieces that will direct us to look at what we need to in order to heal in every aspect of life. So I see all current struggles not as things to rid oneself of, but rather an opportunity for healing. So not to ask "Why is this happening to me again?" (the victim) but instead to ask "What is this for?" (looking for the lesson)
So if you have sometimes sat there and thought to yourself "There must be more to life than this", well... you're right. There is always a calling, however dim, in everyone one of us to grow and expand. It is when this natural process is of growing and expanding is stunted that we experience anxiety and pain. So healing requires a realignment with this overriding goal and that's where we can help.
"Growth is a detox process, as our weakest, darkest places are sucked up to the surface in order to be released. Often, upon seeing the weakness in each other, we have a tendency to go "YUCK!" and walk away on some level. But often it is not a change in partners but rather a change in perception that delivers us to the love we seek. When we shift our view of the purpose of intimacy - from serving our own needs as we define them to serving a larger process of healing - then an entirely new opportunity presents itself. Our wounds have been brought forward, not to block the experience of love, but to serve it. It is in the forgiveness or our weaknesses that we are healed of them, and the tenderness of a forgiven heart is a tenderness that will ultimately heal the world."
Marianne Williamson - Enchanted Love
These are the three primary perspectives that I work from along with the best of many others. They work well together and form a comprehensive approach to healing. There are times, depending on the client's situation and their goals for treatment, when I will alter my approach and utilize other therapeutic interventions. For example if someone is dealing with panic attacks or a simple phobia, I may consider the use of Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing otherwise know as EMDR.
The above is meant to give you just the basics of my approach. So if your seeking the support of a male counsellor and if you have further questions or comments, please email me.