Couples Intensives

Get to the heart of the matter swiftly with a 3-day private intensive therapy session with Trevor.  Designed for couples who are in crisis, stuck in destructive rigid patterns, and who want more immediate, powerful and sustainable results.

What Is A Couples Intensive?

In the 3-Day Couples Intensive, you’ll work privately with me to help uncover the roots of the unhelpful patterns in your partnership and re-architect your relationship into one that is soundly based in the essential principles of healthy, thriving, passionate intimacy.

Who Are They For?

Designed for couples who are in crisis, who may be stuck in destructive rigid patterns, and for those who want more immediate, powerful, and sustainable results.

Why Should I Consider A Couples Intensive?

While weekly therapy sessions can be effective for some couples, my experience over the last twenty years has taught me that in order for most couples to authentically and sustainably shift out of their rigid negative painful patterns they simply need more than an hour a week to dislodge those old dysfunctional patterns and integrate new ones. Our old habits have way more traction than our new intentions. Couples Intensives are a very unique and therapeutically advanced approach to relationship counselling that has evolved out of my more than 2 decades of direct couple’s counselling and workshop facilitation experience.  The Couples Counselling Intensives are specifically designed to help break through these stubborn patterns of ours and help you integrate new effective habits of healthy, thriving relationships.

When Are They Scheduled?

Scheduled at your convenience during school hours

Where Do The Couples Intensives Take Place?

In your own home or hotel room (for out of town clients)

Investment

$3,400 for 18-hour Couples Intensive over three days

$4,400 for 18-hour Couples Intensive plus 4-90 Minute Integration Follow-Up Sessions.

More On Couples Therapy Intensives

If you're struggling with a breakdown in communication, feeling distant from your partner, unable to resolve ongoing conflict, feeling sexually unfulfilled, or even dealing with the devastating impact of an affair, then a 3-Day Relationship Intensive is an excellent choice for you.  After helping more than a thousand couples over the last 20 years, I've learned that changing rigid and long-standing problematic patterns with couples most often requires a more intensive approach than weekly sessions can offer.  Learning and embodying the essential skills of effective communication and connection is the difference between relationships that are barely surviving and those that are authentically thriving, and that's exactly what the Relationship Intensives are designed to do.

Our Marriage Retreat Intensives are a unique and therapeutically advanced approach that offers couples one-on-one extended private psychotherapy sessions. The intensives typically take place over three days and generally run six hours each day. They are ideal for couples who are in crisis, who are struggling with rigid destructive patterns, and/or those who want more immediate, more powerful results in their therapy.  

The distinct advantage the intensive format has over regular weekly sessions is that it does not allow the time for our old habits, which typically have way more traction than our new intentions, to re-establish in between more traditional weekly sessions.  Sometimes with a serious crisis or long-standing rigid dysfunctional relationship pattern, weekly sessions just don't carry enough momentum to legitimately create the shifts that couples are needing.  Relationship Intensives are also ideal for people who may be traveling from out of town, find it difficult to make it to weekly sessions, or are seeking more powerful and timely results.

I have observed that clients who begin therapy with intensives, especially couples in crisis, progress significantly more quickly and the changes made are more sustainable than those participating in traditional hourly/weekly counselling sessions.  Intensives have the powerful advantage of cutting quickly and deeply to the core issues that drive the problematic and rigid patterns that couples find so difficult to emancipate from.

In-Home School-Hour Intensives

Intensives can be arranged at times that are most convenient for you and your partner, weekdays or weekends.  One of the most popular scheduling formats for intensives are our In-Home 3-Day/6-hour Intensives that run from 9-3pm each day, which allows for the intensive to occur while the kids are in school, in the convenience of your own home.  This allows for 18 hours of intensive therapy over three days which will ensure a rapid and powerful transformation in the way you think, feel, and behave in your relationship.

Like a couples workshop, we actively explore new ways and teach you the skills to increase the connection and intimacy in your relationship, significantly improve communication skills, work through infidelity, resolve conflict effectively, and work through shame, guilt, and anger in your partnership. I offer solid marriage advice to some of the most common and challenging marriage problems.  These marriage retreat/intensives can take place in our offices or at your home.

Working privately with Trevor during a typical three-day intensive, couples can expect to get the same degree of benefit from a day of therapy than they would receive from a whole weekend in a couples workshop, creating dramatic and long-lasting shifts in their relationship.

Couples who typically come to a Couples or Marriage Intensive are:

  1. Caught up in ineffective, destructive, or bitter communication patterns.
  2. Feeling hurt by an affair or infidelity of some kind.
  3. Yearning for a deeper connection with their partner and desire more closeness and intimacy.
  4. On the verge of divorce or separation.
  5. Struggling to balance the demands of both work and family life and keep their partnership strong.
  6. Seeking an opportunity to rebuild their relationships with new knowledge and practical skills.
  7. Wanting premarital counselling to set up a strong foundation for their relationship.

I developed and, for 6 years, lead the highly successful Relationship Revolution Workshop for Couples and am now offering 3-Day Intensives for couples who want the same great benefit that so many couples have received from the marriage workshop, but in a format that offers dedicated one-on-one time tailored to meet the specific needs of the couple.  I offer relationship advice to tackle some of the most difficult relationship problems.

Some of the benefits you will receive from a 3-Day Couples Intensive are:

Is a Couples Intensive right for you?

Well, you're not alone.  These are some of the most common challenges in intimate relationships and the ONLY reason they are common problems is because we simply haven't been given the right information and the right skills. Most of us were never taught how to make it in the intimate relationship arena, and if we were, most likely we were taught by people who weren't very good at it. The first critical element in winning the relationship game is knowing the key fundamentals of what keeps couples communicating and connected.

"Our relationship was on very rocky ground - even on the first day.

By the second day I was not only hopeful but excited about our future."

- T.R.

What I've Learned Along The Way

As an expert in marriage and couples therapy for the last 20 years, and having helped over a thousand couples achieve greater intimacy, I've come to understand a few things very well about intimate relationships.

  1. All couples inevitably and necessarily encounter some form of struggle.
  2. These struggles often evolve into very rigid patterns over time and take considerable time and effort to redirect.
  3. These entrenched cycles are very difficult to escape from for most couples.
  4. Even when provided with the right information to help change these destructive patterns most couples are rarely able to apply the information to make effective changes.
  5. Even when couples have experienced some degree of success in shifting negative patterns, the chances of the couple eventually reverting back to these old habits is extremely likely.

There is a lot of "great" information out there about how to make a relationship better but the problem is that all these "great" solutions, all too often, just don't yield the results.  So couples are left frustrated and disheartened thinking things may never get better.  This challenge has inspired and driven our team to find the differences that really make the difference in cultivating and sustaining passionate intimate relationships.  Through my years of direct in-the-room experience with intimate partners and with the extensive training I've received from some of the most profound teachers and therapists in the field of intimate relationships, I have come to identify "7 Essentials" that make relationships work.  And that when these "7 Essentials" are learned and integrated by couples, they produce significant and sustainable changes that consistently strengthen authentic communication and deepen the connection between partners.  And it's these "7 Essentials" that I teach during the Marriage Counselling Intensive.

Even more exciting, and to my surprise, is that these "7 Essentials" not only reliably create positive change for couples, they are also...SIMPLE!  That means everyone can learn and use these relationship keys to immediately benefit from.  That means you're much closer than you think to a relationship that can thrive instead of just survive.  

"I feel like I can be more open to discuss issues because

I've learned some tools to deal with them.

Before, I held things in to avoid conflict."

-D.D.

What Creates Real, Sustainable Change

    1. The Right Information - While there is a lot of information available to couples for how to improve their relationships, as it turns out, much of it just doesn't work. Outcome research on couples therapy tells us that there are many myths about just what makes for a healthy and happy relationship. It's important to stick with what actually works based on evidence, not just your hope or hunch.
    2. Experiential Learning - Experiential learning embeds corrective emotional experiences into the central nervous system. Information is basically useless until it is integrated. And so by actually participating in the new information, you take the learning to a much deeper level that is much more sustainable. It's the difference between just reading the menu at the restaurant and actually eating the food.
    3. Intimate Professional Coaching - Many real solutions are counter-intuitive, meaning they may be the last thing you think of or they might just seem outright wrong. Having a professional show and help you navigate your way into the hidden pearls of wisdom can make all the difference. My experience has told me that the effectiveness of new information and tools is directly related to understanding the nuances - the small differences that make all the difference with the information.
    4. Disciplined Application - "Insight without action is a daydream". New information must be practiced on an ongoing basis in order for it to be learned and integrated as a new way of thinking or behaving. Practice, practice, practice.

"I came to the intensive quite skeptical and unsure and am leaving confident and positive that our relationship can and will improve."

- A.S.

How I Created The Couples Retreats

Based on the proven principles of effective evidenced based change outlined above, I set out to design a workshop for couples that actually works in the real life world of intimate relationships.

  1. The Right Information - I've sifted through a wealth of education, training, and experience in relationship therapy and distilled down the 7 most proven, powerful and simple evidenced-based essentials of healthy, passionate relationships. I've drawn information from some of the most contemporary clinicians in the field of intimate relationships including John Gottman - "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work", Sue Johnson - Emotionally Focused Therapy, Marshall Rosenberg - Nonviolent Communication (NVC), Harvel Hendrix - Imago Therapy, Marianne Williamson - "Enchanted Love", David Schnarch - "Passionate Marriage", "The Work" of Byron Katie, and David Deida - "Intimate Communion".
  2. Experiential Learning - All of the information that I offer in our couples retreats is backed up by experiential exercises that will give you a deeper understanding of the theory and its application to real life relationship issues. This will integrate the ideas from the head and into the heart of your practices.
  3. Intimate Professional Coaching - A marriage intensive will give you the one-on-one time with Trevor so that you can get the specialized attention you deserve.  I'll help to coach you through the nuances of each experiential process to ensure a clear understanding and integration of the work.
  4. Disciplined Application - A 3-Day relationship workshop intensive is only the beginning of the change process. Ongoing commitment to the learnings and practices is a must to create and sustain change. In addition to the full course training, I offer each participant a materials binder with all the information and exercises so that you can continue the learning and practice at home. Couples can also opt into "maintenance sessions" which are powerful after-support sessions that follow the 3-Day Marriage Retreat.  These are aimed at supporting you in continuing with the practices you learned in the intensive to help you to work even more deeply with the "7 Essentials" and get support on any challenges you may be having.  This will ensure that the gains you've made actually stick instead of you slipping back into old patterns. This will avoid the "rubberband effect" so common after a workshop high.

Our Couples Intensive Therapy Retreats can be modified to suit your personal needs in terms of length and content.  Just give me a call to discuss at 604.980.2673.